Monday, 28 June 2010
Happily ever after
I'm going to tell you a little story. It's a tale of love, despair, heartache and above all, one girl's absolute determination to battle through the evils of modern culture.
First let me set the scene and introduce the main character.
Our heroine is a jeans, shorts, leggings, skirts and dresses king of girl. Seldom often does she buy or wear proper trousers, but this one time, not long ago, she saw a pair and quite simple had to have them. They were perfect. Grey, twill woven, harem-style and just lovely to wear.
One day, she wore the trousers to work. A long, hard day at the office later, she was eager to get home and start the weekend. Luckily, a seat was available on a busy train: she sat down unaware that her world was about to come crashing down on her.
"OY, LOVE, YOU'VE GOT GUM ON YER BUM" , a train guard shouted at her as she was making her way through the other passengers during rush hour a short time later.
She ran home as fast as her legs could go, stopping at nothing but the traffic lights. Tears ran down her face as she sat in the kitchen scrubbing away at her trousers until her Fairy Godmother produced a book called "Household Tips for the Modern Day Damsel", which instructed her to put her garment in the freezer overnight and to pour a large vodka to allow time to pass a little faster.
The next morning, with a slight hangover, she was able to pick off the chewing gum with ease and lived happily ever after.