I do not know what style is

I’m in a pickle. I have a dilemma. Gosh, darn, I’ve nothing to wear.

This Saturday I’ll be attending a party. Not just any old party, it’s a ‘Fashion Faux Par-Tay’.

How witty.

While I’ve moaned over the last few blogs about my uninspiring wardrobe and my ability to wear some truly awful garments (ski jacket anyone?), I’m sure you’re sitting there shouting at your screen “You’ve plenty to wear”.

Yes, I agree with you there, I do have plenty to wear, the trouble is I don’t know how to wear them and make them look bad on me (I’m one of those people who could wear a potato sack and still look glam and nice and beautiful even).

Note: that is a lie.

I know the point of a bad taste party is to commit a fashion crime and (hopefully) not be charged with offending the general public’s sense of style, but really I want to still look semi-decent and maintain some sort of self respect and dignity when I leave the house looking like:

a) a) Pat Butcher in her youth

b) b) Miss Piggy, styled by Gok Wan

c) c) Agyness Deyn on a typical day out

I Honestly do think it’s possible. It’s just going to take some serious time and effort to rake though my clothes and find a combination that says “I’ve never heard of the word fashion” and “I do not know what style is”.